Self-Soothing Techniques

Everyone has moments when they feel overwhelmed and stressed. Experiencing intense stress or overwhelming emotions can feel like your nervous system is in overdrive, making it difficult to think clearly or respond effectively. However, some people are better at soothing themselves when stressed, which invites the question, "How come some people are better at calming themselves down than others?" Self-soothing is a learned skill that empowers people to calm down despite what is happening externally and when everything inside them feels like spinning out of control. With practice, you, too, can learn how to soothe yourselves, regulate your emotions, and regain a sense of peace, putting you in the driver's seat of your emotional well-being and giving you a sense of control in stressful situations.

Deep breathing and meditation are well-known methods for self-soothing. This blog explores some unique, perhaps lesser-known, strategies for finding relief during stressful times. You can experiment with these practical tools to see what feels best to your system, giving you the power to choose what works best and the excitement of discovering your unique self-soothing strategies.

1. Sensory Rituals

When emotions are high, and anxiety is present, engaging your senses can ground you in the present moment, providing a sense of safety and comfort. Let's go beyond the typical suggestions of lighting a candle or listening to music to facilitate relaxation and delve into sensory rituals that provide a secure and comforting space during stressful times.

Try This: 

Create a sensory ritual box filled with items that engage different senses. This box can include:

• Pieces of fabric or textured objects.

• Essential oils that remind you of comforting memories (e.g., pine for a calming walk in the woods, lavender for spring flowers).

• An edible item with a strong flavor—dark chocolate, crystallized ginger, or sour candies—to quickly bring you back to the present moment.

If you feel overwhelmed, reach for one of these items and take a moment to engage your senses and experience the object in your presence. Notice how it feels, smells, or tastes to anchor yourself and bring you back to the here and now and into your body.

2. Grounding Through Temperature 

Instead of focusing on your breath, try changing your body temperature to reset your nervous system. The vagus nerve, which plays a crucial role in emotional regulation, responds well to shifts in temperature.

Try This:

• Place a cold compress or an ice pack on your neck or wrists for a minute or two. This cold sensation can be calming, especially if panicked or overly heated.

• Dip your hands or face into a bowl of ice water to release dopamine and activate your parasympathetic nervous system. 

This technique works by signaling to your body that it is time to shift from a state of high alert to rest.

3. Imagining Your Safe Space — But Make It Interactive

You have probably heard of visualizing a "safe space" to escape when things get tough. Try expanding this practice and making it more immersive and interactive.

Try This:

• Close your eyes and imagine your safe space vividly, whether it is a beach, a cozy reading nook, or a forest trail. Fill in the details using descriptive language.

• Now, imagine interacting with this environment. Picture yourself running your fingers through soft sand, feeling the warmth of sunlight on your skin, or smelling the damp earth after a rainstorm.

• Take it further and keep a small object that symbolizes this space with you—a stone, a feather, or a seashell. Holding this object can be a tangible reminder of your safe place and help you remember whenever needed.

4. 'Name the Feeling' Technique to Disarm Overwhelming Emotions

When intense emotions flood in, they can feel overwhelming and be difficult to name. This technique helps to diffuse the intensity by labeling what you are experiencing.

Try This:

• If you feel overwhelmed, pause for a moment and verbally name what you are feeling: "I feel anxious," "I feel angry," or "I feel helpless."

• Next, be more specific: "I feel a tightness in my chest because I am scared," or "I feel pressure in my head because I am frustrated."

Research shows that naming an emotion reduces intensity, allowing one to step back and gain perspective. Naming physical sensations in one's body helps bring a person back into their body, promoting a sense of safety and connection with themself. 

5. Grounding Through Micro-Movements

When feelings like anxiety or stress flood your body, making significant movements can feel impossible, and the thought of them overwhelming. Instead, focus on deliberate micro-movements to release tension.

Try This:

• Clench and release your toes inside your shoes, or wiggle your fingers slowly, perhaps rubbing each finger over the pad of your thumb. Play with opening and closing your hands with increasing speed and intensity. 

• Slowly roll your shoulders back and forth while tuning into the sensation.

• While sitting, focus on feeling your body's weight press into the chair and shift your weight from side to side.

Micro-movements can release pent-up energy without making you feel like you must jump into full-scale exercise mode. These small movements can help your body recognize that it is safe and start to relax.

6. Reframe Stress With Creative Journaling

Instead of traditional journaling, which focuses on recounting your day or venting your feelings, try using creative journaling to shift your emotional state.

Try This:

• Grab a blank page and free-write for five minutes. Let your pen move without any particular plan or structure. This process can facilitate "mental dumping" and clear out overwhelming thoughts. This technique, sometimes called "stream-of-consciousness writing," involves repeatedly writing whatever pops into your mind, even if it is "I do not know what to write, and I do not want to do this"!

• If writing feels too rigid, try doodling, focusing on drawing abstract shapes, or creating a "feelings collage" with words or images that capture your current emotional state.

Creativity can be a non-verbal outlet for emotions and offer relief when finding the "right words" is problematic.

7. Scent Anchors

Aromatherapy, which uses scent to create an emotional anchor for your body, can be a powerful way to return to the present moment. Choose a scent you use specifically during calm or enjoyable moments so your brain begins associating that scent with peaceful feelings.

Try This:

• Pick a soothing essential oil, perfume, or herbal sachet. Incorporate this scent every time you engage in a relaxing activity (like taking a bath or listening to music).

• Over time, smelling that scent can spontaneously trigger a state of relaxation and help calm your nerves in stressful moments.

Practice Self-Compassion Along the Way

It is important to remember that learning how to self-soothe requires practice. The goal is to build a toolkit that helps you gain control of your emotions and reactions, especially when life gets overwhelming. This process requires effort to find what techniques resonate and work best for you. Permit yourself time to experiment and adapt these techniques to suit your unique needs.

In a world that tends to push people to be "on" all the time, learning how to self-soothe is a radical act of self-care. These tools can help you protect your peace and build resilience in the face of stress.

Feel free to share which techniques resonate with you. We would love to hear from you! You deserve moments of calm, even in the chaos.